By: Rabbi Chaim Yeshaya Freeman
The Jewish Wedding Ring
I am often stopped by non-Jews who ask, “What are those strings sticking out of your pants?”
What is the proper response?
Let us analyze the pesukim about tzitzis found in this week's parsha to gain a better understanding of the mitzvah. The pasuk states (Bamidbar 15:39),
וּרְאִיתֶם אֹתוֹ וּזְכַרְתֶּם אֶת כָּל מִצְוֹת ה׳
“You shall see it and remember all the mitzvos of Hashem.”
The Torah clearly tells us that looking at the tzitzis will lead us to remember Hashem's mitzvos. But how?
Rashi explains that the gematria of the word tzitzis is 600. Adding the five knots and eight strings totals 613. The Ramban is bothered by the fact that the word ציצת in the Torah is spelled without a second yud and therefore does not equal 600. He explains that the techeiles string serves as the reminder. Its blue color resembles the sea, the sea resembles the sky, and the sky resembles the כסא הכבוד.
On a simpler level, many meforshim explain that tzitzis function as a constant reminder of Hashem similar to a wedding ring which serves as a reminder of an important relationship.
Based on this, we can formulate a meaningful response when people ask us about the strings. Ask them, “Have you ever heard of a wedding ring? Why do people wear one?” They will typically answer that it reminds them they are in a committed relationship. Then explain that these strings serve a similar purpose. They remind us that we are in a committed relationship with Hashem.
This leads to another question: When is the most important time to wear tzitzis?
The Ibn Ezra writes that it is especially important to wear tzitzis when one is outside the Beis Medrash and exposed to the many challenges of the world. The Rambam (Hilchos Tzitzis 3:11), however, writes that one should strive to wear tzitzis at all times but especially during tefillah. He concludes that it is disgraceful to daven without tzitzis. The Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 24:1) likewise rules that one should at least wear tzitzis during tefillah.
At first glance, it would seem more important to wear tzitzis outside of tefillah. Why then do the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch place such emphasis on wearing them during davening?
Returning to the analogy of the wedding ring, where is it more important to wear it? At a business convention surrounded by strangers or at home with one's spouse? Seemingly, the need is greater when one is out in the world. So why wear a wedding ring at home?
Perhaps the answer is that even when we are in an environment that should naturally cause us to think or behave a certain way, that is not always the reality. How often do people sit across from their spouses while their minds are occupied with everything except the person in front of them? The wedding ring does more than remind us that we are married. It helps us focus on the relationship itself and appreciate the bond we already have.
The same idea applies to tzitzis. Wearing them outside reminds us that we have a relationship with Hashem. Wearing them in Hashem's house helps us focus on that relationship and deepen it. That is why there is a special emphasis on wearing tzitzis during tefillah.
Tefillah is not merely a time to show up, recite a few words, and leave. It is an opportunity to connect with Hashem, to speak to Him as our loving Father in Heaven, and to recognize that He is there for all of our needs.
May our tzitzis continually remind us of our relationship with Hashem and help us grow ever closer in our connection to Him.
Taken from the Kollel Avreichim Hollywood
