By: Rabbi Aryeh Gitlin
The Chazon Ish emphasizes that when children are home from school or yeshiva, such as during the summer, it is especially important to learn and review the laws of Kibbud Av Va’Eim.
It is a mitzvah from the Torah (Vayikra 19:3) to honor and revere one’s parents. It is one of the few mitzvos in the Torah where a specific reward is stated, long life (Shemos 20:12). The Gemara (Kiddushin 30b–31b) also teaches that one who fulfills this mitzvah properly merits the Shechinah resting among them.
There is also a well-known tradition that this mitzvah offers protection to Klal Yisroel from the influence of Eisav, who excelled in honoring his father Yitzchak Avinu. The proof is that Esther HaMalka was able to fight Haman, who was from Amalek and a descendant of Eisav, because she was an orphan from birth and therefore never was negligent in this mitzvah. HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman zt”l was once quoted as saying that the reason our generation has medicine to live longer is in order to be able to take care of our elderly parents, fulfilling the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’Eim, and thus empowering Klal Yisroel against the forces of Eisav so we can merit to receive Moshiach.
The Meiri (ibid.) writes that there is no maximum to the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’Eim. The Gemara (ibid.) illustrates this through Rabbi Tarfon, who would allow his mother to use him as a step-stool to climb into and out of her bed.
The Yesod v’Shoresh HaAvodah (Shaar HaNitzutz 2) writes that since this mitzvah is common and central, it is essential to be well versed in its halachos.
The Sefer HaChinuch (mitzvah 33) explains that its root is to cultivate a constant gratitude toward one’s parents and ultimately toward Hashem for all His constant kindness.
Many people find this mitzvah more difficult than others because of its constant and personal nature. A helpful approach is to focus on the fact that this is a mitzvah of Hashem, like shaking a lulav or keeping kosher. The Gemara (ibid.) relates that Rabbi Asi would occasionally distance himself from his mother when the obligation became too difficult to properly fulfill.
The Gemara (ibid.) defines Kibbud/honor as assisting parents with food, drink, clothing, covering, and physical assistance. The Aruch HaShulchan (Y.D. 240:17) adds that these acts should be done cheerfully and not appear burdensome.
The Gemara (ibid.) defines Morah/revere as not contradicting a parent and not sitting in their designated place.
These halachos will be expanded upon further in upcoming weeks, b’ezras Hashem.
Taken from the Kollel Avreichim Hollywood
