By: Rabbi Chaim Yeshaya Freeman
As we enter the days of Sefiras HaOmer, there is a longstanding custom to study Pirkei Avos each Shabbos afternoon. This practice reflects the nature of this time of year. The days between Pesach and Shavuos are a period of preparation for receiving the Torah. Since Pirkei Avos focuses on character building, it serves as a guide for that preparation.
In that spirit, we can focus on one Mishnah that captures a central idea and offers a timely lesson for these days. The Mishnah (Pirkei Avos 4:1) teaches:
“Who is honored? One who honors others.”
This is not just practical advice. It is a definition. Honor is not something a person gains from others; it is something a person becomes. One who consistently treats others with respect is, by definition, honorable.
This reflects the Torah’s approach to kindness. Society often presents the “golden rule” of treating others as you want to be treated as a way to ensure good treatment in return. The Torah teaches something different.
“You shall love your fellow as yourself” (Vayikra 19:18).
Hillel (Shabbos 31a) explains that a person should not do to others what he would not want done to himself. The focus is on the other person, not on personal gain.
This idea becomes especially relevant during Sefiras HaOmer. The Gemara (Yevamos 62b) teaches that the students of Rabbi Akiva died during this period because they did not treat one another with proper respect.
Why did this deserve such a severe consequence, and why specifically during this time? Rav Aharon Kotler explains that these days are designated for preparing to receive the Torah. Pirkei Avos (6:6) lists the qualities needed to acquire Torah, and proper respect for others is one of them. Since these students lacked that quality, they were not fit to serve as part of the transmission of Torah.
After this loss, Torah was rebuilt by a new group of five students, including Rav Elazar ben Shamua. The Gemara (Megillah 27b) records that he was careful never to recite Birkas Kohanim without the proper blessing beforehand.
This seems obvious, but it highlights a deeper point. Another student, Rav Yose, said he never went against his colleagues, even when they told him to duchan despite not being a Kohen (Shabbos 118b). Rav Yose stressed the importance of going to great lengths to show respect for others as a way of correcting the flaws of the earlier students. Rav Elazar ben Shamua, however, taught that this sensitivity must operate within the boundaries of halacha.
The message of these days is clear. Growth in Torah is not only about learning more. It is about becoming more refined in how we treat others. Pirkei Avos teaches that honor comes from honoring others. Sefiras HaOmer reminds us that without that foundation, Torah cannot last.
Taken from the Kollel Avreichim Hollywood
